Open the door.

The crisp Autumn air rushes at you bringing with it the familiar scent of damp rotting leaves. The trees have turned from lucious green to dull red, pussy yellow, and poopy brown! Put on your galoshes, grab your rain slicker, and step outside. Join us as we venture out to The Pumpkin Patch......

Huh?

A "pumpkin patch". What's a pumpkin? Can I lick one?

OH! These orange thingies. Um. They're kinda dirty.

How about this one? Is this a good one?

Ooooooo! Oooooooo! This one, this one!

Dude. Hay mazes are soooo eeeeeezeeeeee.

Follow me! I know the way!

Um. Weren't we just here? Okay. I'm lost.

Hey, you! Hey, Cat!

Why do you sound like a vacuum cleaner?

Do you have gas?

Quack, quack. Ducks are so cool. They rule my world.

Hmmm. It's time to blow this joint. Okay. Here's the plan.

I'll distract them, and we can get to work.

Everyone, look!!!!!

There's Brad Pitt saving a puppy from a burning barn.....

and he's NAKED!!!!

You, kid! You, unlock the wheels! You with the purple coat, get working on that engine!

Quickly, QUICKLY! We haven't got all day!

Damn. They didn't buy it. I thought that would work.....

Mannnnnn. I shoulda went with George Clooney!

Hey! Hey, guys! Forget that old clunky tractor. Here's a truck!!!

The Complaint Box

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing to complain about our stinkin' roads. Could there BE any more water pooled on them? I mean, COME ON. We live in the freakin' Northwest, for cripes sake. It's, like, world famous for it's rainy weather. Or did you miss the memo on that one? One would at least think that you could come up with a way to drain the damn water off of the highways. I think I might have to have Q add a "Submarine Mode" to my Xterra.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
"Soused in Seattle"

Ennnnngorge!

We did indeed lose power yesterday due to the wind storm. Katie didn't seem to mind that much. What she did mind was the delay of dinner. Because we had no power, we had no stove. Huzbend got creative and cooked up a pasta dinner using the grill and our backpacking propane stove. It took a while, but it was good.

Meanwhile, stupid me forgot the power was out and threw food into the garbage disposal. The last time we lost power it was for about two days. I didn't want to leave the food to rot. Do you know how gross it is to stick your hand into the disposal and pull out cold, mushy bread, peas, pasta and grapes? It's not pleasant. Of course, thirty minutes after I pulled out all the food, the power went back on. Figures.

Next up........A Tale of Two Boobies:

Sunday was the last day that I breastfed Katie. She's completely weaned. I guess that's good in the sense that I now have my boobs back. But, right about now, I wish that I could send them off on vacation or something.

They are KILLING me. I have about five days worth of breastmilk stuck in there. Do you know what that means? ENGORGEMENT. They pulsate with pain. The only thing I can do is put a little ice on them and try to lighten the load a little by expressing a tiny bit of milk at a time.

Besides dealing with Rock Hard Boob Syndrome, I'm also dealing with a little sadness. Breastfeeding Katie was really the only cuddle time that we had. She's so active now, it's hard to get her to slow down enough for a hug. Breastfeeding was the only time that I could get her to relax on my lap. Now, it's over. We've gone from having a quiet and relaxing fifteen minute feed to me chasing her around the kitchen trying to get her to eat banana.

Moving on......Boys Don't Cry, or DO they?:

Today we stopped by a Children's Museum. Katie had a great time running around like a crazy baybee. It was a pretty cool place and they had lots of stuff for her to get into - a lifesize bird nest, the cab of an eighteen wheeler, musical instruments, water, a bunch of little kid-size houses, etc.

They also had an area that had a lot of push-toys. Katie had been playing with this one wheelbarrow-looking thing for a little while, but then abandoned it for a lawnmower. So, some older boy began to push the wheelbarrow around. I'm guessing that he must have been like 4 or 5 years old. Katie caught sight of it and immediately dropped her lawnmower. She walked over to the boy and tried to pry his hand off of the wheelbarrow. I intervened and tried to interest Katie in the lawnmower.

The boy walked away with the wheelbarrow and Katie quickly began to chase him. So, the boy began to run. Katie picked up speed. She followed him around the room, up a ramp and into a dead end. When the boy stopped, Katie grabbed the back of his shirt and began to pull him away from the wheelbarrow as hard as she could. The boy began to cry. I had to go and pull Katie off of the kid.

My daughter is a bully. Where, oh where, did she get THAT? Must have been from Huzbend. Definitely not me. Nope. Totally not me.

Not About Pumpkins

Today, there was a break in the rain and I decided to head to the playground. Tomorrow we're supposed to be getting the remnants of a tropical storm. I guess we're in for high winds and lots of rain. Could be power outages and stuff like that. I figured we might as well get out while we can.

Anyways, when we got to the playground the first thing that Katie ran for was the little blue slide. She loves slides.

Wouldn't you know it, there was a fine misting of rain water still on it.

She began to bang on the slide while saying, "Mama. Mama. Mama."

Sigh.

Who am I to deny her a "go" on the slide? I helped her up the steps, put her on my lap and down the slide we went.

Oh, it was slow going because my butt was busy sopping up all the water. I had to use my feet to pull us down the slide because we were stuck to the wet plastic.

As we got towards the bottom of the slide, I realized that a small puddle of rain water had accumulated. There really was nowhere else to go, but into that puddle.

I proceeded, with encouragement from Katie, to "wipe down" the other three slides at the playground.

I'll tell you, there's nothing like having a soggy ass on a crisp and breezy Fall day.

Oh, the sacrifices I make.

Pumpkin Fest 2007

Katie has her first field trip tomorrow. We're going to a pumpkin patch with the coop preschool.

Then on Wednesday, we head to ANOTHER pumpkin patch with our playgroup.

Do you know what the forecast is for both days? RAIN.

Good thing I got the Micronian a pair of kick ass ladybug rain boots.

YAAAAAAAA-HEEEEEEEEE!!
(as Katie would say)

Pics and an uber-cool blog update will follow the festivities.

Later, dudes.

Things of No Import

I know. I know. I've been slacking in the blog department.

I think I have a bit of writers block or something. I just can't think of anything to write about.

It also might be that there really isn't anything remotely interesting going on here.

I guess the weather is a good topic to start with.

When we were out visiting the east coast the weather was sunny and in the 80's every day. It was like summer. We came back home to rainy, dreary, cold weather. It was kinda, like, depressing and stuff. We've been able to sneak in a few visits to a local playground and I manage to fit in a walk to the mailbox with Katie everyday.

Co-op preschool is in full effect. My official job at the preschool is "Paint Changeover". There are four easels and each has its own set of 3 paint cups held in a tupperware bin. My job is to clean the bins, cups, and brushes. Then I have to refill the paints. Sounds pretty simple, but think about it. There are kids from ages 1 through 5 using these paints ALL week long. They kinda make a mess.

I found out quickly that Katie has no patience for paint cup cleaning. The first time I began gather up the cups for cleaning, she began to whine and glom onto my leg. Hmmmm. That made cleaning a little bit more complicated. So, after much strategizing I came up with the ultimate "Paint Changeover" technique. I take the cups home to clean while Katie is napping. There's so much less DRAMA that way.

Katie loves the preschool. I'm not sure that I mentioned it before, but it's really not school. It's like a playgroup that you pay for. She gets to play with new toys, she gets to do art projects (with my help of course), she gets to eat new snacks. It's all good. I'll try to remember to post of picture of her first painting masterpeice. Next week we are going on our first field trip to a pumpkin patch. Should be fun.

I've slowly been catching up on house cleaning. Vaccumed this weekend. Cleaned the bathrooms on Friday. Cleaned the moldy shower today. Exciting, isn't it?? We have to paint the trim around our new windows, but the paint can says not to paint if it's going to rain in the next twelve hours. So, I guess that's out. There's a tree that's touching our house. The bug guy says that mice can crawl up it and into our house. So, we gotta trim it. Then there are the down spouts that have detached from our gutters. Wahhh-wahhhh-wahhhh. How whiny can I be?

In other news, Katie says more words now. Here's a list: Dadee, mama, moooo, quackquack, baba, ba-oooon (balloon), cheee (cheese), chhh (cheerios), keys, and durdy (dirty). I think that's it. Katie tries to have conversations now. She'll spout off some lightning fast gibberish and then look at you as if to say, "Got it?"

It's frickin' hilarious.

Well, I've spent enough time typing about nothing.

Tune in next time when I talk about brushing my teeth, picking stray Cheerios off the floor, and how much I hate doing laundry.

My First Vacation: A Photo Essay - By Katie

We just got back from our whirlwind tour of the NorthEast. Man, it was CRRRRRAAAAZZZIIIIEEE!

In keeping with my family's tradition, I started off the trip by getting sick. I had a 103 degree fever the night before we left. This is a picture of me and Mommy on my first plane ride. I spent most of the time in a drug induced sleep. Ahhhhhhh, the wonder that is Children's Tylenol.

Did you know that my Daddy is a superhero?

All my Grumpa has to do is say something while pointing and the lady with her hand over her mouth laughs. She's my Grumpa's brothers wife. Confusing. I know.

Well, there's GiGi. And there's Auntie and Uncle. And then there's......Who the hell ARE all these people?!?!?!

Hey, Nana? Um. Do you think I could have more cake? Quick! While Daddy isn't looking!!!!

I finally met the man that's stolen my spotlight. Look at him trying to get ALL the attention. Jeez. I was doing that LOOOONG before you were born, buddy. Put a little more back into it, okay? You don't even have your Mommy in a panic. Louder, man, louder! Sigh. Amateur.

I thought that if I stole the paper towels, the party wouldn't have to end. But, alas, they caught me.

Did you know that putting rocks into an empty milk jug is TOTALLY AWESOME?? My Grumpa did.

What's wrong with this picture?
As soon as we got to the campground, they put me to work. They just don't understand that being cute is my full time job.

Who's got time to mow, when there's a Granma to play with?????
My Granpa got a kick outta encouraging my new favorite past time - rock collecting. I guess nobody told him that I occasionally try to eat them.

Watch that first step, it's a dooooozy!!

My Uncle is a KICK ASS story teller!!!! Rock ON, dude!


Besides the fever, the rash, and the jet lag, I had a really good time. I got to get a whole lot of attention, I got to eat cheese at every meal, I got to play with new toys, and I got to sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed almost the whole trip. You really can't ask for more.

We should do this again sometime, okay?

A Very Dark Place

Puh-Puh-Puh-Puh-Pooh?

Yes, Piglet?

Where do you suppose we are? I mean, it's quite duh-duh-duh-dark in here.

Well, I would suppose that we are in someplace rather nightish. Seeing as how it is dark.

Buh-buh-but Pooh, it doesn't smell nice either. Do you think we've stumbled into a Heffalump lair? Oh my. OH MY!

Dear Piglet, I wouldn't worry yourself about such a thing. Christopher Robin said that Heffalumps don't much enjoy smelly, dark places. They are too busy tromping about the wood. Oh bother. I seemed to have stepped into something sticky. Maybe it's honey. I could use a little smackerel of something!

Oh, Pooh. Please buh-be careful! This doesn't seem to be a place where you can juh-juh-juh-just eat off the floor.

**SLURP** Piglet. That was most definitely NOT honey. It tasted rather.....bad, I would say. I shan't be eating that again. Well, Piglet. I say that we should begin an adventure. This smell is rather muddling and I don't think I would like to stay here much longer. What do you say.....

CHRISTOPHER RUH-RUH-ROBIN!!!!!! HELLLLLLPPPPPPPP! SOMEONE PLEASE HEH-HELLLPPPPP!!!

(A bright light shines from above. Kanga and Roo appear to fall from the sky. The light disappears.)

**PLOP** Well, hallo Pooh. Hallo, Piglet. Now, Roo dear, please don't go running off. It's awfully dark in here and you could fall and hurt yourself.

(Disembodied voice heard from above)

Katie! No! That's not for babies! That's garbage. It's Dirty Yucky. You didn't put something in there did you?

(The light returns)

Oh, jeez. Oh no. That's not nice. Ewwwwww.

(Pooh, Piglet and Kanga are lifted up)

It appears, Piglet that we are saved. I should say that this has become a hummy sort of day!

Busy, busy, busy

It was a sluggy day on the trail last Friday. I would say that just about every foot or so there was a slug either crossing the bike trail or was smooshed on it.

They have the biggest slugs I have ever seen out here. And they are EVERYWHERE.

Huzbend tells me that he swerves to avoid them when riding to and from work.

You can see why in this next picture. They can take your foot off, man!

What else is new?

Hmmmm. We've been busy using what's left of our sunny days to get out and go places.

We've been to a couple of state fairs. Is it just me or are state fairs timeless? Get yourself to a fair and check it out. Tie-Dye, still there. Airbrush t-shirts, still there. Metallica wall banners, still there. Loads and loads of mullets, still there. Cheesy products for sale hawked by MORE mullets, still there. It's freakin' hilarious.

Mommy, LOOK! Cows! Mmmmmmmoo.

Oh yeah, I had a great peice of stawberry-rhubarb pie at a fair this past Saturday. Huzbend's eyes almost fell out of his head when he read that each peice of pie was a half a pound. I wonder if that included the ice cream that I had them add? Who knows. It was mmmmm-mmmm good.

Katie got herself her first pair of shoes. There are quite a few of you out there that will be happy to hear that they are PINK.

Katie also got in three new teeth in the past three weeks.

We've also had a rocky sleep week with screaming jaunts lasting upwards of an hour each. Sigh. We were doing sooooo well for a while there. She was actually sleeping the whole night through! I can't figure out if it's the damn teeth or some sort of seperation anxiety. Whatever it is, it'll pass. I just gotta be patient.

Tomorrow, we start our cooperative preschool. Don't get nervous now. Katie isn't going to school. It's really just a glorified play group. You just pay to be a part of it. Anyways, last week I went to an orientation meeting. While they talked about safety, fund raising, ideologies, and curriculums all I could think was, "Um. Shouldn't my mom be at this meeting?" I felt like a 12 year old at a PTA meeting. It was like I was intruding somehow.

The next day they had open house. Katie had a lot of fun trying to eat her art project (clay with a feather and straw stuck in it) and throwing baby dolls around in a water table (she was supposed to be giving them a bath). We're gonna have a lot of fun.

The K.T. Diet

Breakfast: Ba-Ba followed by a rousing game of "Whack the Spoon Full of Rice Cereal". Then some Cheerios out of a snack-cup and water out of a cool color-changing cup.

Mid-Morning Snack: peices of Daddy's toaster waffle, chopped up banana, any Cheerios I can find on the floor and more water.

Lunch: Ba-Ba followed by chunks of cheese, cooked carrot peices, maybe some pasta and a sip or two of whole milk.

Mid-Afternoon Snack: some carrots and grapes accompanied by water, a few choice woodchips, dandelion heads, a couple of handfulls of grass and a stick or two to suck on.

Dinner: Ba-Ba followed by more cheese, chili, a peice of bread, peas and water.

And for my night cap: Toilet water, fresh from the spring.

I'm Confused

Baybee K.T. here.

Okay.

So, there are these people called Mommies and Daddies. I have one of each.

Then there are these people called Aunties and Uncles. I got a bunch of them too.

But, now, my Mommy is telling me that, "Your Mommy and Daddy are now an Auntie and an Uncle."

What?!

How is that possible? Aren't you one thing or the other?

She also told me that I am now a "Kuhzin". What the heck is that?

One day, I'm climbing up the down side of slides, throwing foot-stamping temper tantrums, mushing carrots into my hair and eating woodchips. You know, run of the mill one year old stuff. And then the next day, I'm a "Kuhzin".

Mommy assures me that becoming a "Kuhzin" is a normal everyday occurance. But, I can assure you, that I am NOT normal everyday material. This here girl is all about bucking the trend.

Hmmmm. All this might have something to do with this guy.

What do you have to say for yourself, buddy? Hmmmmm? What's with all this "Kuhzin" business? Come ON, man, OUT WITH IT!!!!

How YOU doin'?

Hmph. Typical boy.