Sorry!

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. We've been really busy with all sorts of stuff.

K-T's one to two hour screaming fits have now been replaced with much smaller crying spells that occur every hour or so. I guess if I had to choose between the two, I would take the latter. I would much rather have short cries then hours of screaming.

I can usually go into her room, reinsert the binky, put one hand on her chest, use the other hand to stroke her hair and whisper gently, "Shhhhhhh. It's time to go night-night. It's sleepy time. Everyone else is asleep. Shhhhhhh."

Believe it or not, it works. She usually quiets down in about 5 minutes or less. The problem is that I have to do this about 4 or 5 times during the night. Usually it happens as soon as I fall into a deep sleep. Bummer.

I don't think I have gotten more than 3 hours consecutive sleep in the past two weeks.

I'm trying to catch up during the day when I can. Actually, as soon as finish this short blog, I'll be off into dreamworld.

I've got other stuff to write about, but I just HAVE to go get some sleep. The bags under my eyes are just about hanging to my knees.

In the meantime, I'm going to give you an assignment.

Check out some pizza commercials.

Whenever someone takes a bite out of a pizza on TV their eyes practically bug out of their heads. I guess this eye-widening is supposed to convey, "OH my GOD, this is the MOST DELICIOUS pizza I have EVER tasted! Wowzers."

It's ridiculous. It really is.

Was that you?

The usual routine is to sit and play with K-T after dinner.

This is a segment of an actual conversation we had the other night:

"BRRRRRRRAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP!!!!"

I look at Huzbend, "Was that you?"

"Nope. It was K-T", he says pointing at her.

"Dude. No WAY! That was SO totally you! That was, like, the loudest fart I've ever heard, man."

"Ummmm, dude. It was her."

"BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!"

"See."

It was her.

You wouldn't think it, but the farts that she lets go are equal to that of a grown man.

She lets out farts that you can hear from two rooms away!

One day, I keep thinking that she'll let out such a big fart that she'll actually lift up off the floor.

The worst is when we are out in public. I usually just keep on talking like nothing happened. But, you KNOW that they heard it. I also know that they must be thinking, "Well, there's no way that the baby could've made that sound. It must have been her. How disgusting."

I feel like saying, "It wasn't me!" But they totally wouldn't buy it.

You know how it goes.

Whoever denied it, supplied it.

Half A Whole Year Old

That's right, people. I am 6 months old.

Watch out 'cause here I come!

Oh, don't worry. You'll here me comin'. Man, I can crank out a scream like nobodys business. I really like screaming and do it quite often. I do it for fun, I do it for attention, I do it to get what I want. There's my, "I'm having such a great time" scream (which is more like a really loud squeal). Then there's my, "NO, MOMMY, I WANT YOU NOW!!!!!" blood-curdling scream. I find that the "I WANT YOU" scream is best used at about 2am or so.

Most kids have to wait until they're at least sixteen or so to get their own ride. Not me. I got a sweet little convertible right after my 5 month. It's, like, totally pimped out. You should hear the sound system. Crankin'.

Let me tell you something, Daddy was so jealous that he begged me to let him take it out for spin.

I've become an old pro at eating cereal. I've tried three different types: rice, oatmeal and barley. I eat them all without much fuss but, I would have to say that my favorite is oatmeal. Rice is just way to bland for my gourmet palate and, I don't know, barley just doesn't do it for me. Mmmmm, oatmeal. It's the BEST. Give it a try, okay?


The best part about eating is right after I'm done. I always get to play with the spoon and bowl. I've learned that if you drop a plastic bowl on a wood floor it makes the most awesomely loud noise. Sometimes, if I drop it just right, it will spin round and round on it's rim for, like, 10 seconds. That is just the best. It makes my day, I tell ya.

One last thing about eating.......

I HATE carrots.

Over the past month, I've brushed up on my grabbing skills. And, for some reason, I am compelled to put EVERYTHING in my mouth now. It doesn't matter if it's appetizing or not. I just can't help it.

My toys......

My Jumperoo....
My toes......

Um, no. Not carrots. What are you, freakin' nuts?!

I'd like to make a shout out to my GmaF. She came to visit during this past month. A good time was had by all. And, yes, that's right, I AM SOOOOOO big!

I've done a bunch of other things too: I make more types of sounds, I'm growing more hair, I'm outgrowing all my clothes, I actually like "tummy time", I enjoy a good laugh, I sleep on my side, I like to eat magazines, I like to grab things on the shelf at the grocery store and I like to give high fives.

And, every now and then, I like to rock out.

"HEY THERE! BLACK SHEEP! HAVE YOU ANY WOOL?! YES SIR, YES SIR! THREE BAAAAAAAGS FULLLLLLLLL!"

Thank you, thank you. I've been practicing. If you liked that one, you should hear what I can do with Little Miss Muffet.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I rolled over from my belly to my back the other day. You'll see Mommy's reaction in the video. She thinks I'm a genius or somethin'. To tell you the truth, I did it by accident. Shhhhhhhhhhhh! Don't tell her, okay? It's our little secret.

I began playing with this block sorter the other day. Man, how dumb do they think I am? I mean, look at this thing. They expect me to put the blocks in the corresponding holes. Um. Yeah, sure.

Only an idiot would do it that way. Just take the dumb top off. The blocks go in much easier and quicker that way. Jeez. Block sorter, my butt. They try to take all the fun out of these things. See?


Here's my 6 month video. I know you are all going to be totally jealous of my ride. Don't worry. When you come to visit, I promise I'll take you for a ride or two. We'll cruise the living room.

Enjoy!


XXXOOO to you all.

Talk at ya next month!

TV

Huzbend and I don't get to watch a lot of TV anymore.

I'm not sure we actually watched a lot of it when we didn't have a kid. Okay, maybe we did. Before she was born we ate ALL of our meals in front of the TV. Those days are LOOOOONG gone.

All I have to say is, the DVR is a great thing.

Most of our TV watching occurs on the weekends when K-T goes down for her big afternoon nap. We usually take those couple of hours to watch all the programs that we've recorded during the week.

I used to watch a bunch of 'reality' TV. American Idol, The Apprentice, Survivor, Amazing Race etc. But, I find that my interest in them has waned a bit. Sure, American Idol is fun to watch when you've got Joe Shmoe claiming he is Freddy Mercury reincarnated. But, I just don't have the time to invest in picking a favorite and then supporting them. Survivor 'jumped the shark' with the whole Castaway Island thing. How lame. It used to be my favorite show. Oh well. I still watch Amazing Race. But, I think they are destined to lose my interest too. This season they are doing a 'AllStars Edition'. LAAAAAAME, once again. Why do I want to watch people that I have ALREADY watched? I have two words to explain why I don't watch The Apprentice anymore - THE DONALD. Sigh.

Because we have so little TV time, we have to pick and choose our favorites. I'm gonna list out my favorites. You must watch them. Okay, you don't have to. Just give them a shot so they don't get cancelled or anything. Nothing sucks worse then getting sucked into a show only to have the ratings plummet and have it go bye-bye.

This has happened a couple of times. Last season there was a show on ABC called 'Invasion'. It was a decent show. It wasn't spectacular, but we watched it from the beginning. Its ratings tanked and we never got to find out what happened. It's like investing the time to read a so-so book and then finding out someone ripped out the last chapter.

This also happened with a comedy on FOX called 'Arrested Development'. That show rocked. It was freakin' hilarious. 'Arrested Development' won, like, six Emmies and it still got dropped. There aren't many sitcoms out there that are laugh out loud funny. This one was. It's a damn shame it got cancelled.


Hmmm, let's see.

I like sitcoms with no laugh track. Laugh tracks are just ultra-cheesy. A sitcom should be funny enough on its own without the network having to prompt me to laugh at the appropriate time. Most of these laugh track shows are built on stupid one liner jokes that you can always see coming from about 400 miles away. Boooooooooring. Anyways, the shows below are anything but boring. Check out my favorite non-laugh track comedies:
The Office - NBC
My Name is Earl - NBC
The Knights of Prosperity - ABC
Extras - HBO

There's a couple of dramas that I like too. Listen, I like complicated plot lines. I like NOT knowing where things are going. I like surprises. I like witty and fast-cracking dialogue. I like shows that don't treat you like you're an idiot. I like a little romance here and there. I like hot guys. Well, I do. Okay, in the case of all you dudes out there - you like hot ladies, right? Most of these shows have some or all of the criteria above. Let me break it down for you:
LOST - ABC - tons of surprises, very complicated plot, hotties galour.
ROME - HBO - complicated true life drama, men in Roman armor, ladies that sleep around to get what they want, lots of sex, blood and guts. COME ON, it's ROME for cripes sake.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - NBC - here's your witty dialogue and your romance.
CSI - CBS - witty dialogue and complicated plots. A mystery each week. Nice.
Heroes - NBC - complicated and people with cool super powers. A nerds dream show.

As for talk shows, there is just one: Oprah. When I get the time that is. Seems that she's spent a lot of this season talking about eliminating your debt and shedding extra pounds. Not that she doesn't give out good advice. I find that I say. "Well, on Oprah they said.....". Huzbend rolls his eyes when I begin a sentence like that. I guess I deserve it. I do the same thing when he starts a sentence with, "I read in Playboy.....".

You can tell a lot about a person from the TV that they choose to watch. Let's see, what can you learn about me? You can find clips of all these shows on YouTube. Check 'em out if you want and you'll see.

What, are you chicken?

A Three Hour Tourrrrr, A Three Hour Tourrrrrrrr

I got three hours of sleep last night.

This sucks.

Sorry to complain yet again, but I just gotta get it out of my system.

I've already complained to K-T about it. We sat down this morning and had a talk about this 'no sleeping' thing. She just stared at me while I asked her what her issue was. Sadly, there was no give and take. It was kind of disappointing in a way. I was hoping that I would at least get an AH-GOOO or something. Come on K-T, throw Mommy a freakin' bone. I did get some smiles though.

K-T's cheeks and chin became very chapped due to her excessive drool. I think the drool comes with teething (nope, no teeth yet). The dry skin became itchy. So, she did what any itchy baby would do. She scratched it until it became red and began to ooze yellow pus.

I couldn't get the sores to go away. No amount of lotion would stop the itch. She would just rub, rub, rub.

I couldn't take it anymore. There had to be something that I could do to alleviate her discomfort. Tuesday we went to the doctors. He told me that the sores were infected and prescribed an antibiotic ointment.

I've been using the ointment and the sores seem much, much better. One has completely disappeared and the other is on its way out.

In addition to using the ointment, I took the binky away. It seemed to irritate the problem even more. Maybe because it trapped the drool against the skin in those areas. Not really sure. I think that this is causing her some major sleep issues. She can't seem to sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time. For lack of anything else to blame it on at this point, it might be the binky.

I think the only reason that she is getting any sleep at all is because she exhausts herself by screaming.

So, it's been a week without the binky. Each night has gotten worse and worse in terms of lack of sleep. My hope that I could break the binky habit early to avoid fights with a toddler are backfiring.

For the sake of my sanity, the binky must come back.

Happy Belated Groundhog Day!

The greatest prognosticator of all prognosticators has spoken!

Phil's official forecast as read 2/2/07 at 7:28 a.m. at Gobbler's Knob:

El Nino has caused high winds, heavy snow, ice and freezing temperatures in the west.
Here in the East with much mild winter weather we have been blessed.

Global warming has caused a great debate.
This mild winter makes it seem just great.

On this Groundhog Day we think of one thing.
Will we have winter or will we have spring?

On Gobbler's Knob I see no shadow today.
I predict that early spring is on the way.

So, Phil has said Spring is on it's way. Well, I guess that's good news.

We've always wanted to visit Punxatauney.

For you see, valued readers, Groundhog Day is our wedding anniversary.

No, this was not planned. It just happened that way.

I graduated from college in May. As I got in the long-ass line to recieve my diploma, I noticed some people were holding up a big painted sheet with the words "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" on it. My first thought was, "Gee. That's nice. What a lucky girl."

Then I noticed Auntie Onion-Dip holding up one corner of the sign. Gulp. The sign was for me.

I made my way up to the stage. I told the announcers that the sign was for me and that I would like to answer. The gentleman announced my name as he handed me my diploma and the microphone. "Yes, (insert Huzbends name here), I will marry you!" I said. This was followed by the thunderous cheers and applause of the couple thousand people in attendance. Nothing like putting me on the spot. Jeez.

The plan was to wait until Huzbend graduated and then get hitched. He was going to graduate in December of that same year. I always make fun of him because it took him longer to graduate than me. He always has to remind me that it was because he took a semester to do a work study program that allowed him to take me to Disney World for the first time. Nyaaa-nyaaaa, I still graduated first. Tee-hee.

After Huzbend graduated, the plan was to wait and get married in mid-July. We were going to have a JP marry us at a picnic. After the shortest ceremony we could possibly have, we would chow on 'dogs & burgers and play a kick-ass game of family vs. family soccer.

But, this was not to be. No disrespect to our parents or anything, but we wanted OUT. We couldn't see living at home all the way until July. There was really no reason to wait that long.

February 2nd just happened to fit the bill perfectly. We had moved in to our first apartment a week earlier and the 2nd fell on a Friday. I don't think we even realized that it was Groundhog Day.

We took our vows at a local Italian restaurant with close family and a small gaggle of friends in attendance. I was almost late to the proceedings because I had to wait for the cable guy to set up service in the apartment.

Huzbend wore jeans and a tie with Tigger on it. I wore a green jumper. A good time was had by all. After the ceremony, we asked our friends back to our tiny apartment. We watched "Fist of the North Star" on our borrowed TV while finishing off the wedding cake. For our honeymoon, we went to the mall the next day to spend some gift certificates.

That's how it all began. And now, it's been 11 years. ELEVEN freakin' years. I am NOT even gonna tell you how long we were together BEFORE we were married. You all know anyways.

It wasn't a stellar anniversary. Huzbend was really sick and stayed home from work. As a surprise I prepared London Broil with Steak Sauce gravy, Cheesy Smashed potatoes and greenbeans for dinner. Sounds complicated, right? To tell you the truth, it WAS the most complicated thing I have ever cooked. As you all know, I don't cook.

It really wasn't that hard and it came out pretty decent. Thanks, Rachel Ray.

I got Huzbend's cold the next day. So far, K-T has escaped. The weekend was awash in boogers and used tissues. Not a pretty sight.

To put things in perspective, I shall leave you all with a little sampling of poetry. This specific selection was written by my Father. I tell you chaps, it is because of him that I am blessed with such excellent diction. I hope that he does not become cross at seeing his private, heart felt words upon this page. It is only with the highest regard that I publish them here.

Roses are Red,
Eleven years. Congratulations.
Now put down the card,
And go have Relations.