Mesh Underwear

I love my mesh underwear. T.M.I., I know.

I'm not sure if every pregnant lady gets super-stretchy mesh underwear when they are at the hospital or if it's just us lucky c-ladies. I'm still wearing them two weeks after "labor" day. COME ON DUDES, not the same pair EVERY day. That's just gross. I've got about five pairs. Jeez.

Anyways, all my regular cotton underwear is bikini. The problem with that is that they fall exactly where my c-scar is. Not particularly comfortable. The mesh undies go all the way up to my belly button and the best part is that they stretch from here to Timbuktu. Super comfi. Not so super sexy. Oh well. So, I still wear them. I probably will until my c-scar heals completely.

My feet have finally returned to normal size. I have made my transformation from ogre back to human. I have ankles. Boy, they sure are skinny. I don't remember them being that skinny. I can also wear my sneakers and actually TIE the laces! Wow.

Going back to the c-scar. I slept on my side for the first time the other night. I must say it was awesome. It really is creepy to have a gash like that on your body. You know in your head that they sliced you open right there. They pulled the garsh-darn baby out of that hole. Your insides were all pushed around. If it was to open.....ugh. Eww. I don't want to venture any further with this one. It's pretty ugly and as huzbend likes to call it "Frankenstein-ish". I hope that it heals nicely. Well, as nicely as it can. I can call it my "Mommy Battle Scar" or I can tell people dramatic tales of life on the high seas as a fearless pirate whose career was ended by a scallywags quick blade. Which is cooler? Hmmmmm.

Today was Katies first doctors appointment. Why oh why do they have to do ANOTHER PKU test? They did one before we left the hospital to bring her home. For those of you who don't know what a PKU test is. Neither do I. The only thing I DO know is that it is the most horrible test ever. They prick the heal of your baby with a razor and then squeeze enough blood out of the gash to fill up five or six dime sized circles on some testing paper. The baby screams the entire time. The worst part was that I had to hold her while they did this. The whole thing takes about 5 minutes, but it feels like an eternity. You have to wonder if something like that could traumatize her for life. That is how horrible she screamed. Sigh. At least that is over.

She is back up to her birth weight of 7.0lbs. She is about 19 and 3/4 inches tall. All pretty standard according to her doc. Everything else is normal or (as we have all heard before on this blog) "just a little below normal". Her next appointment will be in two months when they begin the vaccines. She'll get, like, five injections her next appointment. That might be as much fun as the whole PKU thing. Yippee.

It's only been two weeks and we can already see she is changing. Her face is getting rounder and she is looking more and more like a little person. She has more facial expressions and makes more sounds. Her cries actually have different octaves depending on how stressed she is. She also has increased her output of poopy and pee-pee diapers, much to the delight of her overtired parents.

The breastfeeding thing is still going just as rockily as before. We've just been trying to get the milk in her any way we can. Her latest thing is to throw a bender when my milk doesn't "let-down" fast enough for her. She has such great expectations of these boobs of mine. I don't know if they are up to the challenge.

Who knew I would be discussing mesh underwear and the state of my boobs for all to read. Such is life with a newborn.

INSANE in the membrane....

INSANE in the brain!!!!

I don't know if this applies to huzbend and I or to Katie. I guess it could be to both.

This baby stuff is insane.

Why is it that when human babies come out they are the most un-self sufficient things on the planet? Horses come out and take a quick jog. Little flippy sea turtles crawl their way to the ocean fending off seagulls and other predators on their way. What do human babies do? They cry. Then they cry some more. Then their parents have to feed them, change their diapers and carry them around all over the place hoping beyond hope that they just don't have the heart for another cry. And you know what? The parents are always wrong. There is always room for one more cry.

Sigh. I know this is all old hat to you parents out there. It's all new to us. I mean, we understood that babies need a lot of taking care of. It's just been a HUGE reality check this past week. Whenever we go to a doctors appointment one of the first things they ask is, "Who do you have helping you at home?" And we answer, "Um, no one." They usually reply with a doom-laden, "Ohhh." I now understand why they ask this. We have no time for ANYTHING. Sometimes, not even enough time to shower, cloth and feed ourselves. It's pretty smelly around here.

My mom and sis came to visit for a few days and helped out with some of the chores, but they had to go back home. It was really nice to have those extra sets of arms. Just a warning to those that follow. We're gonna need some help when ya'll come to visit. Make sure to pack some rubber gloves, brooms, mops, laundry detergent and a couple of Advil for the sore muscles you'll get from scrubbing. Just kidding. Maybe.

This past Saturday we had our first visit to the emergency room. Katie was wailing uncontrollably and when we changed her diaper we noticed some blood. We had been keeping a log of feedings/diaper changes and noticed that it had been quite a while since her last pee-pee diaper. I called the hospital. They said that she might be dehydrated and that we should come in right away. I was an emotional wreck. Huzbend stayed tough. We dragged ourselves into the ER at about 1am only to be told by the doctor that we weren't feeding her enough. Ugh. How embarrassing. She was dehydrated, but it was because she wasn't getting enough milk. What a couple of NEWBS we are.

Also, we found out Monday (with a second opinion yesterday) that Katie hasn't been putting on enough weight since she left the hospital, so we have been put on a new regimen of feeding her EVERY three hours. There is no room to fudge in this regimen. It HAS to be every three hours. So, I have to feed her on each breast for 15 minutes. Then huzbend takes over and supplements with 2 oz. of breastmilk via bottle while I pump out even more milk. This whole thing takes about an hour. That leaves only 2 hours for us to try to get the little tyke to settle down to sleep so that we can maintain sanity. Our success rate for settling her is currently at maybe 50%.

This last session was a good one. Katie is sound asleep next to daddy right now. He must have used his patented "Wonder Tummy" technique. He lays her on his stomach until she is so comfortable and warm that she can not resist The Sleep. Huzbend has been really good about all this baby stuff. He's reading "The Happiest Baby on the Block". We also purchased the corresponding DVD. He's been using these techniques with some success. Katie is a smartie though and likes to keep us on our toes. The same calming technique never works twice in a row.

We just have to work through all this stuff together. I must say one thing, nothing and I mean nothing can test a relationship like the whole baby thing. We absolutely must maintain a united front. I mean, we both have our "You must take this kid from me NOW" moments, but we are able to work through them together. This has to be one of the hardest things that I have ever done in my life. I'm sure that huzbend feels the same way.

I wanted to take this opportunity to say "Thanks" to everyone that has sent a little something our way. Flowers, blankets, cards and yummy treats - all of it is appreciated. I just wanted to send along thanks via the blog because the chance is pretty slim that we will escape the house in order to get some Thank You cards.

Things of note since baby came:

I've already dropped about 20 pounds of weight
Updating this blog and checking email is virtually impossible
I have no idea what is going on the world
Do not use your own bed to take off the babies clothes prior to diaper change....diapers can leak and bed sheets can stain
Our daughter has dual personalities: Monkey (when arching back and screaming to eat) and Snuggle-Bug (when completely content and eyes peacefully closed)
Breastfeeding is DAMN hard
My feet are still swollen even worst than they had been before labor. This is due to the huge amounts of fluids I had to get for the c-section
My c-scar is pretty fugly
I haven't slept on my side in 10 nights. I have to sleep sitting up due to the uncomfortable stitches
I can open a box of cereal, pour myself a bowl and eat it with one hand

Kill me now, and let me sleep.

Actually I wouldn't mind putting somebody else to sleep for a long time. Katie seems to enjoy her nights screaming, eating, pooping and just being a little hellion.

(By the way Hime is a tad busy right now. She is, after all, the only one working the local dairy)

The last three nights I've achieved a total of 8 hours of sleep. 3 nights, 8 hours sleep. I have no idea what day of the week it is or even what planet I'm on. And for your immense enjoyment, I even have some pictures of our night time activities.

I bet you didn't know (well if you don't have kids) that babys actually poop mustard?

It's great. I can change a diaper and have a ham sandwich at the same time. I'm going to try for dijon tonight.

Not only can she poop mustard though, she also knows kung fu (Fists of Fury reference)

Technique shown here: Crying Monkey Eats While Pooing Tiger Balm

Hey you people asked for more pictures. I give you more pictures. Maybe after Katie chills out for a bit and I like her again we can post more doctored up cutie pics.

See the kid in the previous posts was borrowed from this hot super model (Heidi something or other) at the hospital that I got to know. We went back to her room, I changed a few diapers, showed her my awesome swaddling skillz, and whamo I've got cute baby pictures. This is what my daughter actually looked like when she came out:

So if they every make Goonies 2 she may have an acting career.

Uh-hilt! Sorry, Folks!

I'm really sorry that I haven't been updating this thing. I know that you're all saying to yourselves, "Well, Jiminy Cricket, Hime! You just had a frickin' baby. Give yourself a break." But, there are lots of people that read this and rely on this as their only connection to us. I owe it to them to keep it consistent. As things settle around here, it should be easier to do this. I'm hoping by the end of this week there might be SOME sort of pattern in this household. I'll be happy even if that pattern turns about to be something like this, "feed Katie, change diaper, stare at Katie, comment on how many poopy diapers she's had, play with Katie, eat Katie's feeties, shush crying Katie. Begin pattern again."

I really want to keep everyone up to date about what is going on with us and our new "family". What a weird thing for me to say, "family". It's not just us anymore. Hime and Huzbend are no longer. Bun in the oven (aka Baby) is no longer. Now it's, Hime and Huzbend and Katie. It really is a weird concept to grasp and it took about a full day for me to wrap my head around it.

That day occured from about 11:08pm on Tuesday until the same time on Wednesday. Now, I really didn't have much else to do during that day except think about what had happened the day before. I was stuck in the hospital bed with IV lines and catheters and stuff sticking out all over the place (especially my boobs). Yes, within an hour or so of getting back to our hospital room the nurse was helping me to get Katie to take her first feeding. Yes, I KNEW that I had just had a child. Yes, I also saw her get examined about twenty times within that 24 hour period. But, it just didn't feel the way I expected it to. I think this must have been due to the path the labor took with the c-section.

It was surreal to watch Katie enter the world the way she did. It wasn't like she was "born" at all but EXTRACTED from me. Totally weird. I guess we'll have to call that day "Extraction Day" or maybe "Slice and Dice Day". Sorry, that last one was gross.

Anyways, over this past week we've gotten to know eachother pretty well. I'd have to say she is a pretty cool chick. Definitely a chip off the old block when it comes to myself and huzbend. It's already easy to see that she has gotten my good looks, huzbends "instant gratification" gene, my penchant for sighing loudly when bored, and huzbends hairy behind. I really, really hope that last one goes away....

Katie Pics

Hey it's huzbend again (what a crappy name. Couldn't she knickname me God of Thunder or something). Hime and Katie are trying to eat lunch together.

I have some more pics for the interested. Save your money and just print out one of these suckers instead.

Okay cutie pic number 1. Katie is about to feed.

Heres's a closeup shot. I took one of the not so scrunched up side. She's almost human looking here.

Okay one of me. I'm such an attention hog.

And now what you have all been waiting for - THE BOOB SHOT!

Wow I feel so dirty. I just posted a picture of my wife's breast on the internet. Larry Flynt move over.

Some more info on us:

The last 24 hours I've had probably 5 hours of sleep. Not too bad especialy since I haven't ridden my bicycle since Monday. I don't need as much sleep without exercising, but I'm getting kinda grumpy.

Hime, on the other hand, has had probably a total of an hours sleep. She pushed and contracted for 12 hours, had major surgery, fasted for 24 hours, and then now has to feed a little munchkin every 10 minutes all on an hour's sleep. She is still smiling. I feel like such a pussy.

I learned some more about babies last night. They have marathon eating sessions their first 24-72 hours. Last night Katie fed continously from midnight to 5AM (that's where my 5 hours of sleep came from). She sucks a little bit, falls back, snorts, sucks some more, naps, and repeats.

I've also found that father's don't get to do too much with newborns. I'm the offical swaddler/diaper man. Oh and diapering is easy with a newborn. The poo doesn't even smell. I could wipe it all over my face and you'd think it was chocolate. Mmm baby chocolate. Well except for the last one, it was kinda greenish. More of a pistachio.

We should be home this time tomorrow. Our checkout is Friday morning. Then the real fun starts.

I can make babys, yes I can

Okay so Hime is not writing this one. Forgive the crappy dialogue, but this is a guest post from Huzbend. Hime is busy with our new baby girl!

Yes "we" gave birth. Here's a picture of the little troll they ripped from my wife's womb:

Hideous isn't she? Holy crap. Why are newborns so fugly? Alright, here's a better picture:

Katherine Jane, 43 centimeters (I think. I didn't actually measure), 7 pounds exactly.

Not too fussy. Likes sucking on biceps, fingers, blankets, and mostly nipples. Hey we have something in common already. Get your mind out of the gutter, I used to have a blanket I liked to suck on.

Here's the play by play if you are still reading:

6:45 AM: Hime drops a big load of something in the toilet. Not from the spot where you'd normally drop loads.

7:00 AM: Hime and Huzbend begin freaking out trying to find stuff to bring to the hospital. Where's the list? What list? We made a list. Did you remember the pencil sharpener? What about my green socks with the pictures of monkeys? OH My GOD HOW do we get to the hospital?

9:00 AM: Hime and Huzbend arrive half an hour late. Traffic sucks out here.

9:10 AM: Hime oozes like half a gallon of whitish fluid all over the examination table. Huzbend succeeds in not ralphing. Yes your water has broken. And thanks for getting it on my shirt.

10:30 AM: First real contraction. Hey that hurt. This is going to be rough. Huzbend begins vigorous rubbing and breathing exercises.

11:30 AM: Contractions take it up a notch. Hime is now screaming and moaning. This is not turning out to be much fun. More vigorous rubbing and breathing by me. I feel like a retard, but Hime says it's helping.

1:30 PM: Full bore go "F" your mother contractions start. Hime is both crying and screaming. Hime wants pain meds. Hime is a mess.

I have a moment where I actually consider someone else's feelings for once. I can either a) Say what I'm thinking - "Suck it up cry baby" or b) Say what I think Hime wants me to say "We should totally get an epidural". I pick b) for some reason.

Side note: See unless you are directly related to Hime and you know me pretty well, you might be thinking Huzbend is a douche bag. Okay even if you are related to me and Hime, you think I'm a douche bag .

However what I'm trying to explain is that Hime really really prides herself on how "tough" or "macho" she is. In fact it's one of the things I love about her. She never quits at anything. I didn't want her to fail in her mission to be .. well .. "tough". But I also knew that if I said "okay we should get pain meds" she would feel less ashamed. It was a hard decision to make.

In retrospect, it was the right one. Let me continue the timeline and you might see why.

2:30 PM: Epidural guy comes in (by the way he was a dick. Totally nice to us but snappy to the nurses. I hate people like that). Epidural guy inserts this huge needle into Hime's back. In the middle of the needle is like a 18 gauge wire. Epidural guy then removes needle while the wire stays in Hime's back. Freaky. She's totally cyborg now.

2:45 PM: Hime is totally relaxed. No more freaking out. Well for her anyway. Now I'm thinking holy crap she stopped having labor. Nope. She just doesn't feel it anymore. Western medicine rocks.

6 PM: Nurse comes by and says when you really have to poo, make sure to ring me.

I think "poo"? She's having a baby, not a turd. Nurse explains, nope she's going to poo all over the place while having a baby. Same pushing.

I think, "I hope I don't barf all over Hime. That'd be like a total downer."

8 PM: Hime says call the nurse, I'm about to poo. And poo she does. Everywhere. Poo flies across the room. I look down, poo reaches up and smacks me in the face. People walk in the room, they slip on the poo.

We are not having a child, Hime just stopped by to drop a deuce and have a nurse wipe her bottom.

10 PM: After much more pooing, something is wrong. Nurse has this look on her face like "Hey I have some really crappy news, and I don't know how to tell you." So she calls the doctor so the doctor can tell us the crappy news.

10:15 PM: Doctor arrives and explains how Katie is asymptomatic or some goofy non layman term. She's facing the wrong way or something and her head is not fitting past Hime's pelvic bone. The "C" word appears. (No not cancer you twit). Caesarian. Totally gross.

See the problem for me (I'm going to again point out why I'm such a douchebag), is I'm a big wuss when it comes to watching people get cut open. I always change the channel on TV when this happens. I really hate TLC. And well I don't want to pass out or run away crying when Hime goes under the knife.

Yes ideally I should be concerned for Hime's health. Which I am. Very much so. But I'm also thinking those other thoughts too.

10:30 PM: After some discussion and a million questions we resign ourselves to the C section.

10:45 PM: I run down the hall chasing Hime with my video camera out (Hey at least this will make a more interesting movie than watching mommy grunt for 2 hours).

10:47 PM: I put on my booties, gown and cap and enter the OR (operating room for you layman types)

10:48 PM: Hime is layed out on an OR table kinda Jesus style. Her arms are tied down to each side and they strap her in at the knees.

11:00 PM: They start cutting. I can sort of peek behind the big curtain they put up between Hime's head and the baby. My stomach starts going around in circles but I man up and hold it together. Hime is hyperventilating and squeezing the shit out of my hand. Good thing she hasn't been working out much since she's been pregnant or I might have lost the use of my left hand.

11:08 PM: Doctor says "Look through the window" (there's a window in the curtain). I look through and see them pull a squirming infant out of a big gash in Hime's stomach. It is just like that scene in the first alien movie except everybody is smiling instead of screaming. I suddenly realize, I'm going to be a father.

11:10 PM: They wash off Katie, I take some pictures, Hime crys a bunch and we have our first child.

11:30 PM: We get back to our room/suite. Now comes the hard part (well for me anyway).

12-5AM: Katie cries while I attempt to call everybody and their brother (well my brother anyway).

5AM-6AM: Katie finally figures out how to eat.

6AM - 7AM: Daddy and Mommy get their first sleep in 24 hours.

Here's some more pictures:

"Baby-Free" Weekend #2

Will there be yet another "Baby-Free" weekend in our future? I guess that's up to baby.

Huzbend wasn't happy that the baby did not decide to show up on Friday. He really doesn't like to wait for anything. For instance, if he wants to buy something and it isn't in stock, he'll just not buy it. He won't even have the store order it. Even if he REALLY wants it. He'd rather drive to another store to see if he can get it there. You could say that one of his super-hero aliases is "Instant-Gratification-Man". So, he gave her a stern lecture about how it's only polite and respectful to be on-time for appointments. He also told her that as soon as she gets outta my belly she is SO grounded. No video games or tv for her. Poor kid.

Saturday was used to get a few more house things done. I finally assembled our desktop computer. I was putting it off because of the sheer amount of cables there were. But, I figured them all out and now we have a total of THREE computers in the house. Please note that they are all within four feet of eachother and yet running on a wireless network. How funny is that?

After that was done, we ventured out to Denny's for "Eleven-sies". Do you know that huzbend eats, on average, three breakfasts a day? Yes. THREE. On a normal day during the work week he will get up at the crack of dawn and have a bowl of Cheerios with banana slices and a protein shake. Then he does some weight lifting. Next, he will prepare to cycle to work. Before he leaves the house he has two whole wheat waffles and a glass of water. After he gets to work and showers he stops at the cafeteria to have a bowl of oatmeal. He then eats lunch everyday at 11:30am. Amazing.

We went looking for a coffee table and could not decide on anything, as usual. We did purchase an audio/video stand for the tv down in the gym. We made our way home and huzbend put it together. It looks very nice and organized now. We have concluded that we will no longer buy any furniture that comes in a box (i.e. that needs customer assembly). We are SO SICK of cardboard and styrofoam. I hate styrofoam. If I have to just look at styrofoam again in the next month or so, I will puke. No, really I will. You wanna bet? Dude, don't dare me. I so will.

Then we got a call from some friends. Seems that they had gotten a gift certificate for The Cheesecake Factory from the real estate agent they recommended to us. They wanted to know if we would like to join them for dinner. Join them we did. The second time was just as good as the first. I couldn't resist and had another peice of cheesecake for dessert. This time it was Carrot Cake Cheesecake.

Sunday, huzbend went for his long bike ride and I hung out at home. I decided to walk to a nearby playground to check it out. It was a nice walk, but by the time I got home I was exhausted. You can't really tell how steep the hills are around here until you actually walk them while pregnant. I was so out of breath by the time I got home you would have thought that I had sprinted there and back. How embarrassing. I think I almost pulled an ass muscle on top of it.

After my excursion, I decided to take it easy and watch a movie and do some laundry. Total excitement. Pork log was for dinner. Huzbend spiced it up a bit by adding maple syrup infused pineapple rings to put on top of the teriaki flavored pork. It made the pork most edible. I ate all of it.

Tomorrow, I have another appointment with the OB/GYN. They never called about the possibility of an induction on Wednesday of this week. I guess I was going to tell them "No" anyways. Now that baby is late, it really is tempting to say, "Sure. Induce away. Get this kid outta me." But, I'll try to be patient. Besides, maybe we can fit just one more trip to the Cheesecake Factory in before she comes. I'll try the Dulce de Leche Cheesecake this time. Drool.

The Plug

Well, hello, dear readers.

Do you know what today is? It is Friday.

Not only is it Friday, it is Friday, August 11th 2006.

What, you say? You don't know what is important about this date?

Why, of course, everyone knows that the first civilian prisoners were transported to Alcatraz on this date back in 1934.

And, yes, in 1966 the Camaro was unveiled.

Yes, Alex Haley, author of Roots, was born in 1921. Jerry Falwell was born in 1933, Joe Rogan was born in 1967 and Hulk Hogan was born back in 1953.

Yes, yes. In 1806, Meriwether Lewis (of Lewis & Clark fame) was shot in the ass while elk hunting.

Sigh.

All that DID happen on August 11th. But, do you know what didn't happen today? Well, at least not yet.

NO BABY.

Sorry, folks. Baby is a no show. Why, oh why, do they give you a due date to begin with? It's pretty ridiculous. It's all just a big guess. It's actually a "birth month" that they give you. She can come anytime between something like 37 and 42 weeks. You tell yourself that you won't get all obssessed with the date, that it can happen at ANY time, but still you get sucked in. Oh well.

There are some things that I can tell you, though.

****WARNING: If you are squeamish when it comes to bodily functions, please skip the next paragraph. You have been warned.****

There are signs that labor is oncoming. Yesterday afternoon, I lost my mucus plug. It sounds a lot worse than it is, really. For those of you not in the know, throughout pregnancy a plug blocks the opening of the cervix so that bacteria cannot enter. As my cervix thins and dilates to allow baby to come out, the plug is expelled. Expelling the plug can mean that labor is anywhere from a few hours, to a few days to a week or more away. Since it was yesterday afternoon that this happened, I'm assuming that labor is still a ways off. But, hey, it's a start!

****Okay, the grossness is over. You can read again.****

Last night we went and picked up the changing table/dresser for the baby. It came assembled in the box. Huzbend managed to get it up into the nursery all by himself, with just a couple of pushes from me. Impressive. We opened the box and one of the doors had come off in shipment and scraped some of the drawers leaving big marks all over them. Can't we win JUST ONCE???? So, today I had to call the company and complain. They are going to send us replacement parts in about 1 to 2 weeks. I guess I should be happy that I have a place to put baby's clothes.

We also went out to dinner last night at a place called The Old Spaghetti Factory. The only pasta they serve is....waaaaaiiiiiiiiit foooooorrrr iiiiiiiiitttttt......spaghetti. They do serve different types of sauces and main dishes (like eggplant parm), but they ALL come with spaghetti. I'd have to say it was pretty good. You get a salad or soup, an entree, a beverage (I think), bread and a small dish of spumoni or vanilla ice cream for like $9 or $10. Not a bad deal.

Today, I got up exceedingly early to get the car seat checked out. Huzbend did a pretty good job of installing it. There were only slight modifications made to the angle of the seat. I also learned how to buckle baby in the correct way. It was easy practicing on the teddy bear that I had in there. We'll see how it is with a squirmy little bambino.

Oh yeah, and the moving people came today and took away ALL the boxes and paper. Even the boxes that we had added since they moved us in. Shhhhhhh, don't tell them. We are so devious. Now we just have to work on getting rid of all the extra furniture that we have stacked around our place. Just no room.

I really gotta get on the ball and pack that hospital bag. We made a list of stuff to bring. I have some of it on the couch ready to go, but I just can't get motivated to actually put it into a bag. It's like I don't have a sense of urgency or something. I don't know what my major malfunction is. Maybe when I get the first side-splitting contraction I'll decide that it might be a good time to get my act together.

Yet Another Lackluster Baby Update

I had another OB/GYN appointment yesterday and yet again nothing has changed. Okay, so I'm .5 more centimeters dilated, but that isn't too much to brag about. Most first time moms do most of their dilating during actual labor, so that's normal.

Everything else is normal as well. My weight, my blood pressure, baby size and baby heart rate are all A-okay.

Doc's prediction is that I should go into labor in the next week to week and a half. Of course, that is just a "prediction". There's really no way for her to tell. Could be tomorrow, could be Sunday. Who knows. I DO know that this Friday, August 11th, will be exactly 40 weeks.

At the end of next week, my doc will be going on a week long vacation. She offered to set up an induction, if I wanted, so that I could have the baby before she goes. She was looking at the 16th as the date. At the time, I thought to myself, "Well, how cool would that be? I would know the exact day that baby was going to come." But, now, I'm not so sure.

Why rush the kid? She might be hanging out for a reason. She might not be ready to come out yet. Besides there is also the matter of drugs. I really kinda have my mind set on the natural thing. Inductions use different sorts of drugs and "appliances" to accomplish the goal of starting and progressing labor. Not something I really want to have done. I mean, it could go perfectly normal. But then again, it might not. There is always a chance that if all doesn't go well with the progression of the induced labor that I could end up having to have a c-section.

After talking it over with huzbend, we are going to wait for baby to decide to come on her own. If I go past 41 to 41.5 weeks, I won't have much of a choice as far as induction of labor goes. The doctors will have to go that route because of multiple post-term health risks to myself and baby. If it comes to that point, then I will accept defeat.

Come baby will, when she is ready.

Ready, will parents be?

No, I think not.

Grouchy Grannies

Sorry for the lack of new material. Last week I got some work to do from my old company and I've been trying to accomplish as much as I can before baby comes.
Mo' money, mo' money!!

Let's see, where to start....

Remember how I mentioned that I got my new license and forgot to tell them that I was certified to ride a motorcycle? Well, I went and got that taken care of on Thursday. I made sure that I got there at least a half hour before they opened. The last time I went, there was already a line at 9:15 and they opened at 9:30. I was the first one there! When we entered the building, I received #0001.

Do you also remember how I mentioned that this state is ass-backward when it comes to some things? First, they had to call their main office in the capital city to erase the first license application from the system. That would have been fine, but this branch office only had ONE PHONE LINE out of the building. This one phone line was being used at that exact moment by their district manager and they had to wait for him to get off. After he got off, 30 minutes later, they tried calling. There was no answer at the main office. Finally, after ANOTHER 30 minutes someone answered. The main office had a fire drill and everyone had left the building.

WTF? Don't these people have C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R-S????? Shouldn't they have some sort of intranet that allows the branch offices to do this shit? I was sitting there for a total of an hour and a half. That was longer than my original visit. Sigh. I did eventually get my new PAPER TRANSITIONAL license with the motorcycle endorsement at the end of it all. When the time comes, those zombie hordes better be pretty damn menacing for me to have gone through all that.

The weekend was designated a "baby-free" weekend by huzbend. We were not going to do anything baby related, as this was supposedly the last weekend that it would be just the two of us.

Saturday, we went to Sears and bought some nice patio furniture. Huzbend picked out the set and I must say I was impressed with his choice. It's very nice and very comfi. We walked around the mall for a bit and I had my first taste of pre-labor crampage. I got a little nervous. Was the baby going to ruin our "baby-free" weekend? But, alas, they went away after a while and only seemed to come on while I was walking.

We then stopped at home to put together our furniture.....okay, so huzbend put together the furniture and I took a nap. Next, we headed out to The Cheesecake Factory for a hot date. If you have never been to the Factory, it is definitely a must go. I guess you could say they are kinda like an upscale diner. They boast that they have something like 200 menu items. The portions are also HUGE. They absolutely live up to the name Cheesecake Factory. They offer about 20 or so different cheesecakes (they also have other desserts if you happen to not like cheesecake). I wanted cheesecake and yet I wanted apple crisp. Well, lucky me! They had a Dutch Apple Strudel Cheesecake - plain cheesecake with baked apples in the middle with a brown sugar/pecan strudel topping. As was said when I finished the entire peice, "Me likey the cheesecake".

After our dinner, we decided that we should see a movie. This might be the last time for a LOOOOONG time. It didn't really matter what we saw, we just wanted to go. We ended up seeing Miami Vice. It was pretty good. I'm not sure why they even called it Miami Vice. The only similarity were the names of the two guys.

Sunday, we invited some friends over for a picnic; a family that had moved here from back east (and coerced huzbend to interview here) as well as another guy from back east out for a conference at the Evil Empire. A good time was had by all. There was lots of food, badmitton, hot tub sitting and Nestle TollHouse cookies. I still have four cookies left. I have to get rid of them. They call my name every time I walk into the kitchen.

Before everyone came over, I had to run to the store to get few things. I found a pull-through space and parked my truck right next to this old beat up red car. I put the truck in park and looked over at the red car before getting out. In the passenger seat was this old (and I do mean old) lady. She looked like a prune. She was wearing bright red lipstick, bright blue eye shadow, had the purple hair and had eyebrows painted on that made her look like she had a constant scowl. I got out of the truck.
The lady looked at me and said, "Well, now I can't see."
I was confused. Was she talking to me?
I answered back politely, "Excuse me?"
"I THOUGHT you were going to park in that space back there," she said, pointing to the space that I had pulled through. "Now, I can't see".
I can't BELIEVE this. What does she want to see? Is the Albertson's grocery store THAT interesting?
"Would you like me to move?", I asked her.
"Well, I can't see. But, you can do what you want", she said as she gave me the "shoo" motion with her hand.
"Okay." I said with the biggest grin I could muster, "I'll move."
And move I did.
Maybe today, because of my kind act, she painted her eyebrows at a much happier arch.

Baby Update

Nothing has changed. Ugh. How frustrating.

I go in to the OB/GYN every week hoping she'll say, "This is it! This is the week!" Or, maybe something like this, "Why, you're in labor right now! You mean to tell me that you didn't notice? Let us rush you to the maternity ward, STAT!"

I haven't changed at all since my appt. last week. Still 1cm and still 70% effaced. HELLO, LITTLE DUDETTE!! Get a move on already.

My blood pressure is perfect. I have gained another 1.5 pounds. Baby's heart rate is at 148bpm. The measurement of my uterus is 36cm from top to bottom. This is still, according to doc, on the low end of the normal scale. Normal is anywhere between 36 and 40 at this point in a pregnancy. Since baby is within this "normal" range, she shouldn't have to do an ultrasound to see that baby is developing properly or a check for proper amniotic fluid amount. I guess that's a good thing. I really don't like it when she says, "the low-end of normal." Why can't I just be "perfectly in the middle of normal"? Sigh.

The doc attributes my excessive last minute weight gain to the water retention. She said that she should be able to get me some meds after labor that will help me shed the water fast. Can't do it before birth, because it's not good for baby. Guess I'll just have to waddle around for a little while longer. I've actually gotten used to the big feet and the numb fingers.

She asked me about the baby's movement and if I have felt any contractions. There is no problem with the baby moving. She loves to push her feet up against my right side, right under my ribs. Sometimes she pushes so hard that it hurts. Not only can I feel her feeties at least four to five times a day (especially when I try to lay down to sleep), I can feel her squirming around in my lower abdomen.

Contractions, well, that's another thing. I have NO IDEA if I am feeling any contractions. There are times when I feel a sharp pain in my side, but most of the time that is in reaction to the round-house kick I just received from baby. I really haven't had any cramping or any tightness that has stopped me in my tracks. Hmmmph.

So, my next appt. is next Tuesday. If nothing has happened by then, which means no water breaking, no contractions, no nuthin', we are going to have to schedule an induction. They'll schedule it at my next appt. so that I can make sure I have a place in line. It will be either one week to ten days after my due date. This doesn't mean that I will absolutely HAVE to be induced. Hopefully, baby will get the hint and decide that she might want to come out on her own. Come on kid, YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!

Odds & Wet-Ends

The house back east is officially sold, as of last Thursday. I kinda forgot to pass that along to everyone. The closing went off without a hitch and we got our check via overnight delivery on Friday. So, I am happy to say, we are a one mortgage family once more.

I also went to get my new license last Thursday. For being such a center of technology this state is just lacking when it comes to some things. Besides me waiting an hour at the licensing office (I know, for some of you this is normal), at the end they gave me a paper temporary license. They couldn't even give me a plastic one. They told me that I had to wait 5-7 days for it to come in the mail. How cheesy.

I just got my plastic license today. The pic really isn't that bad to tell you the truth. I forgot to mention to them that I had a motorcycle endorsement on my prior license. So, they didn't put it on this one. That kinda stinks. I wonder if I have to go all the way back there to have them change it. That would mean wasting another hour. That would suck.

I know, I know. I won't be riding a motorcycle for a LOOOOONG time, especially since we sold my bike. Oh yeah, and that whole baby thing. But it's a nice thing to have, just in case. Like, for example, if there is a nuclear attack that gives way to a massive gas shortage and things turn all Mad-Max around here. I gotta be able to outride the gangs of mutants, you know.

This past weekend was "BABY" weekend. A good chunk of Saturday was spent at Babies 'R' Us, much to huzbends delight. It's just amazing how much stuff our little monkey is gonna need. We might just have to buy her her own house for cripes sake.

I was prepared. I had made a list of things that we needed to buy using multiple sources as reference. We bought a crib, a changing table/dresser, a mattress, a changing pad for the changing table, sheets for all these things, a baby bathtub, a portable crib, a diaper pail, and other miscellaneous baby items.

I spent most of the rest of the weekend washing and organizing everything. According to research, I picked up some hypoallergenic detergent with no dyes or perfumes especially made for babies. It was while doing this laundry that I realized how much pink there is in her wardrobe. Dammmmmmnnnnnnn! I'd have to say 3/4's of her clothes are pink. I guess we better hope that we have another girl in the future. Jeez. What happens if, gulp, she's not a girl when she comes out? Hmmmmmm. Interesting dilemma. I see a social experiment in the making.

Then, on Sunday, I was suddenly overcome with a thought. Did we buy the right stuff? That bathtub for instance. It looks way to big and not very comfortable. I decided to do some research, which led to more research, which led to even MORE research. You know me, Research Queen.

While wandering around Babies 'R' Us on Saturday we had seen many things that made us say, "Wow, I would have never thought of that. What a good idea. We should buy that." And, you know what? A lot of that stuff is either not needed or just downright dangerous! Yep. Some of the stuff we bought can actually injure our kid. Here I was thinking that I was Mrs. Cool with my list of stuff to buy. Guess I was wrong.

For Example:
The baby bathtub that we had bought converted in to what they call a "bath seat". It can be attached to the side of the tub. When baby is big enough she can sit up in the seat by herself and you don't have to lean down to wash her. Consumer Reports says that they are dangerous. The seats can fall off the side of the tub and baby go boom.

We also bought a sleep positioner. It is recommended that all babies sleep on their backs now. A sleep positioner has two cushions on either side of the baby to keep her from rolling over in her sleep. Well, experts say that babies can wiggle down and get their faces smushed up against these cushions and suffocate.

Those are just two of the things I learned. So, back to Babies 'R' Us I went on Monday. I returned all the dangerous and/or unneeded products and got myself a store credit. This credit was spent on even MORE baby stuff. Extra fitted sheets for the crib, baby medicine droppers, a hamper, and finally diapers.

I said to myself, "Self. You should be prepared. The baby can come any day now and you'll want to have some diapers on hand." How the heck am I supposed to know what kinda of diaper to get? It felt like I was in that diaper aisle for a good hour. I even had a cell-phone conversation with my mom while standing in the diaper aisle about diapers. I ended up buying a pack of Huggies and a pack of Pampers. We'll test both and see how they do. The next task was trying to find baby wipes. Now, what the hell do I know about baby wipes? I DID know that they should be alcohol free. I searched high and low. The only ones that said alcohol free were packs of, like, 3000. Totally not going to buy those. Sigh. And so it went for the next hour or so. I must have looked like a complete moron. I bet the employees laugh at all the expectant parents wandering aimlessly around the store totally baffled by the sheer amount of stuff.

It's craziness, I tell you. Sheer craziness.