OW

I had the first of three dentist appointments last Friday.

I guess hormonal changes during pregnancy can do a number on your teeth. Pregnancy just kicks your ass all around. There is nothing safe from it's destructiveness. Is 'destructiveness' even a word?

The hormonal changes cause you to produce more plaque and nasty stuff than normal. It also makes it harder for you to remove the accumulation with regular brushing and flossing. Yippee.

So, I went in to the dentist last month and they did a full exam of my mouth. It was in pretty bad shape. Some areas of my gums were bleeding and there were large pockets forming. Also, I had a significant build up of plaque on my teeth. Specifically in the area behind my bottom front teeth. I still have a lingual bar left there from when I had braces. It was so bad that they had to schedule me to COME BACK to have deep cleanings done that would require anesthesia (aka novacaine).

At the same time as this, most, if not all, of the old amalgam fillings in my mouth are beginning to fall apart. None are in great jeopardy of failing in the next couple of months, but they will need to be replaced. I've had these things in my mouth FOR-EVER. They are really, really old.

So, I bit the bullet and decided to have it all done in three appointments. The first one would be to clean the left side of my mouth and replace all the fillings there with the new tooth-color fillings. The second would be to clean the right side of my mouth. And lastly, the third to replace all right side fillings. Sigh.

Friday was the first appointment to take care of my left side. I kinda like that nowadays they give you a topical to numb the area they have to stick the novacaine needle into. That is very nice of them. I remember the days when they did not do this. They would stick the needle in and then wiggle it around to make sure that the novacaine was spread evenly. Many of you probably know what this pain was like. I would like to forget.

The cleaning took all of 15 minutes. Man, did she get in there and scrape away. It was sickening, really. Even though I couldn't feel the pain, I still felt the scrapes. It made me want to vomit or run away. Or both.

Next, came the filling replacements. The doc came in with an assistant and they went to work. Both of these ladies had BOTH of their hands in my mouth at the same time. The doc had two instruments going, the assistant had the suction and the sprayer thingie.

I was numb for like 4 or 5 hours afterwards. But, as soons as that wore off my jaw was very sore. I think they strained all of my jaw muscles. My gums were a little sore too. One of my teeth is very sensitive to cold. I hope they didn't screw up.

Because they gave me novacaine, they told me that I might not want to breastfeed KT for a few hours. The novacaine crosses over into breastmilk. To be on the safe side, I waited a full 12 hours before I breastfed her. I had stocked up on milk, so she was all set.

Something unexpected happened though, when I had to stop breastfeeding her.

I missed it.

I remember the lady who taught my infant feeding class saying that you develop this "bond" with your baby. That is was special mommy/baby time unlike any other. That you would come to cherish these special moments. Breastfeeding releases hormones that relax the body both in the baby as well as in the mom. Before KT was born, I was excited to feel this "bond" and eager to learn how to breastfeed.

Now, as you all know, my experience with breastfeeding has been very hit or miss. Well, nowadays, there are a whole new set of challenges and problems. KT still doesn't latch properly. This is especially true when she is tired or she just doesn't feel like concentrating on the task of eating. I've learned to deal with it, but sometimes it can be extremely painful. She is also able to grasp things now. That means that she'll take a handful of boob and practically try to rip it off me.

There have been many times when I've just about given up on it. I thought that "bond" stuff was a bunch of bullcrap. I'm just a human cow. But, for some reason, my brain always says, "Keep at it. It'll get better." And I do.

I've realized that the lady at the class was actually right. There is a "bond" that is formed. When things are going well - KT doing her thing and me doing mine - it's really a great feeling. I don't know why I never felt it before. Maybe I am just addicted to the hormone release. I need my fix. But, I really missed our time together for those 12 hours. The bottle just doesn't give me the same feeling. I wonder if she even knew the difference?

Two more appointments to go. I can't wait.
NOT.