"WAHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Hmmmm.

The "meltdowns" haven't stopped.

Since the first one on Thursday, the 18th, there have been 3 or 4 others.

Most of them lasting about an hour to two hours at a time.

First we thought it was seperation anxiety. Then we thought it was the teething rash on her face or the teething itself. Who knows what it is. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to these screaming sessions besides them occuring at night.

So, now I get anxious every night before bedtime.

Hearing her scream like that makes my heart rate jump up. It makes my body tempurature rise. The adrenaline dump it causes makes me feel like I've drank about twenty Red Bulls.

I began to doubt all the stuff that I've learned about her over the past five months. Where was I going wrong?

But, do you wanna know what's weird? I'm getting used to it.

Weird, huh? I remember when she was first born and I wrote about getting used to her crying for everything, to only getting two hours of sleep at a time, and her poopy diapers. But this is different. How does someone get used to a baby that is screaming at the top of her lungs?

I'm not sure. But, I'm doing it.

Yes, I still get anxious. That's not going to go away. But all this screaming is making me a better mom. I find that I can get through one of her fits without having a fit myself. Her crying used to make me want to cry. For some reason, in the past week, I've become stronger in this aspect. My brain has decided to get tough. I have to be the Mommy. It's my job to hold her while she screams it out.

I should take video of one of her fits.

Hold on, now! Don't panic. Not so I can post it here! So, I can show K-T when she gets older. Something like, "See what you put Mommy and Daddy through" or as blackmail when she gets to be a teenager.

No, no posting it here. I don't want to scare off any potential parents, you know.

Trust me. The picture that you all have in your head of her screaming is totally not as bad as the live thing.