Odds & Wet-Ends

The house back east is officially sold, as of last Thursday. I kinda forgot to pass that along to everyone. The closing went off without a hitch and we got our check via overnight delivery on Friday. So, I am happy to say, we are a one mortgage family once more.

I also went to get my new license last Thursday. For being such a center of technology this state is just lacking when it comes to some things. Besides me waiting an hour at the licensing office (I know, for some of you this is normal), at the end they gave me a paper temporary license. They couldn't even give me a plastic one. They told me that I had to wait 5-7 days for it to come in the mail. How cheesy.

I just got my plastic license today. The pic really isn't that bad to tell you the truth. I forgot to mention to them that I had a motorcycle endorsement on my prior license. So, they didn't put it on this one. That kinda stinks. I wonder if I have to go all the way back there to have them change it. That would mean wasting another hour. That would suck.

I know, I know. I won't be riding a motorcycle for a LOOOOONG time, especially since we sold my bike. Oh yeah, and that whole baby thing. But it's a nice thing to have, just in case. Like, for example, if there is a nuclear attack that gives way to a massive gas shortage and things turn all Mad-Max around here. I gotta be able to outride the gangs of mutants, you know.

This past weekend was "BABY" weekend. A good chunk of Saturday was spent at Babies 'R' Us, much to huzbends delight. It's just amazing how much stuff our little monkey is gonna need. We might just have to buy her her own house for cripes sake.

I was prepared. I had made a list of things that we needed to buy using multiple sources as reference. We bought a crib, a changing table/dresser, a mattress, a changing pad for the changing table, sheets for all these things, a baby bathtub, a portable crib, a diaper pail, and other miscellaneous baby items.

I spent most of the rest of the weekend washing and organizing everything. According to research, I picked up some hypoallergenic detergent with no dyes or perfumes especially made for babies. It was while doing this laundry that I realized how much pink there is in her wardrobe. Dammmmmmnnnnnnn! I'd have to say 3/4's of her clothes are pink. I guess we better hope that we have another girl in the future. Jeez. What happens if, gulp, she's not a girl when she comes out? Hmmmmmm. Interesting dilemma. I see a social experiment in the making.

Then, on Sunday, I was suddenly overcome with a thought. Did we buy the right stuff? That bathtub for instance. It looks way to big and not very comfortable. I decided to do some research, which led to more research, which led to even MORE research. You know me, Research Queen.

While wandering around Babies 'R' Us on Saturday we had seen many things that made us say, "Wow, I would have never thought of that. What a good idea. We should buy that." And, you know what? A lot of that stuff is either not needed or just downright dangerous! Yep. Some of the stuff we bought can actually injure our kid. Here I was thinking that I was Mrs. Cool with my list of stuff to buy. Guess I was wrong.

For Example:
The baby bathtub that we had bought converted in to what they call a "bath seat". It can be attached to the side of the tub. When baby is big enough she can sit up in the seat by herself and you don't have to lean down to wash her. Consumer Reports says that they are dangerous. The seats can fall off the side of the tub and baby go boom.

We also bought a sleep positioner. It is recommended that all babies sleep on their backs now. A sleep positioner has two cushions on either side of the baby to keep her from rolling over in her sleep. Well, experts say that babies can wiggle down and get their faces smushed up against these cushions and suffocate.

Those are just two of the things I learned. So, back to Babies 'R' Us I went on Monday. I returned all the dangerous and/or unneeded products and got myself a store credit. This credit was spent on even MORE baby stuff. Extra fitted sheets for the crib, baby medicine droppers, a hamper, and finally diapers.

I said to myself, "Self. You should be prepared. The baby can come any day now and you'll want to have some diapers on hand." How the heck am I supposed to know what kinda of diaper to get? It felt like I was in that diaper aisle for a good hour. I even had a cell-phone conversation with my mom while standing in the diaper aisle about diapers. I ended up buying a pack of Huggies and a pack of Pampers. We'll test both and see how they do. The next task was trying to find baby wipes. Now, what the hell do I know about baby wipes? I DID know that they should be alcohol free. I searched high and low. The only ones that said alcohol free were packs of, like, 3000. Totally not going to buy those. Sigh. And so it went for the next hour or so. I must have looked like a complete moron. I bet the employees laugh at all the expectant parents wandering aimlessly around the store totally baffled by the sheer amount of stuff.

It's craziness, I tell you. Sheer craziness.