I'm Fed Up

I need to lose weight. I can't stand this anymore.

Before I became pregnant, I had gotten down to the weight I was in high school. It was awesome. I had worked really hard to get there too. I had eaten right. I was excercising twice a day. For once, it had paid off.

I remember going out Columbus day of last year and spending about 2 hours at the GAP buying new clothes to show off all my hard work. Then, I donated all my old "fat" clothes to the Goodwill.

DOH!

One month later, I was preggo.

So, it wasn't so smart that I went and bought new clothes and got rid of the old ones. I mean, by October we knew that we were going to try to get pregnant. I guess I just didn't think it would happen so, um, fast. I thought I would have a grace period of a couple of months at least.

By the end of December/beginning of January, I had to pack away all those nice new clothes and start to buy maternity wear. I figured, "Hey, now I will have an excuse to start working out ASAP after I give birth."

Hmmmm. How delusional I was. I'm still wearing my maternity clothes. I've got nothing else to wear. Even my old underwear doesn't fit. Okay. Sorry. T.M.I..

Since about the 4 week postpartum mark, I have been walking on the treadmill with Katie strapped to me in a baby carrier. This was all that I was allowed to do according to the OB/GYN because I was still healing internally from the surgery. At least it was something. Just enough to not make me feel like a total lard-butt.

Tuesday, I went in for my 6 week postpartum checkup at the OB/GYN.
Uterus - shrunk back to normal size
Cervix - all healed up nicely
External Suture Sight - all healed and looking good (I guess everyone is entitled to their opinion. I think it looks disgusting)
Internal Suture Sight - should be healed up

So, what the hell is that globulous pouch dominating my middle region???? I would assume it's a big lump of fat. I was kinda hoping that she would say that my uterus wasn't all the way back to normal. No luck. Ugh. I've got a pot belly. Don't get me wrong. If you remember I was up at least 50 some-odd pounds at the height of my pregnancy weight gain. I've lost 30 of it. That's all good. It's just this last 20 that just WON'T GO AWAY.

All the books say that breastfeeding will help you shed the pounds. Um, no. It hasn't helped me at all. The 30 that I lost was all water weight (remember the swollen tootsies). They expect you to eat an extra 400 to 500 calories a day when breastfeeding and you are still supposed to lose weight. Um, no again.

The Doc says that I can return to my normal activity level. I can run, walk, bike, hike, pole-vault, basically do whatever I want. That's all well and good. The problem is that I have a 1.5 month old that won't let me!!!

The little Dudette needs some kind of schedule. Please see example below:

Today, I put her in the swing and she fell asleep. I thought to myself, "This is it! My chance to work out!" She woke up.
I decided, "Well, she's up. No use trying to work out now." She fell back to sleep.
Then, I said to myself, "Well, she'll probably wake right back up if I walk out of the room. If she does wake up, I have a grace period of about 10 minutes. She'll lie there awake staring at the lambie mobile. I might as well take this opportunity to take a shower and bag the work out thing." I took my shower and walked out. She was sound asleep.

I started to get dressed. She woke up. I finished getting dressed. She's back asleep. I think, "She'll be up in about 15 minutes because she'll be hungry. I fed her about 3 hours ago. I can take this time to check my email and get a quick blog entry in and then I'll feed her. Then we can then go to Walmart without a baby freak-out." So, I left her in the swing.

As I have been writing this, she's been asleep. It's been almost 45 minutes. I've wasted another primo workout opportunity. I just don't want to get started and then have to stop. There's nothing worse than getting up a good sweat and being completely out of breath and then having to stop. You've got all this adrenaline and endorphines flowing and then BOOM. STOP. It's the worst. Really, I'm constantly worried that she'll wake up or be hungry or something. I hate to hear her scream.

So much for getting in the ultimate workout today. Wait. Maybe I should go right now.....

"WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Sigh. Dammmmmmmmmmiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttt.