Deformed

Yesterday, Katie was holding on to my hands and jumping up and down in front of me.  She jumped once and hit my stomach.  It hurt.

And now it's time for the obligatory "I hate my body" post.  This happened after the last kid too.

I know.  I know.  You're saying to yourself, "Well, she's only, like, seven weeks postpartum."

Yeah.  I am.  But, I want this gone NOW.

It's worse than last time.  Last time, there was extra weight.  I think it was something like 20 pounds that I had to lose.  It was in the form of a little bit of belly and there were no stretch marks.  Oh yeah, and there was the scar - ugly and pink.  

This time, I've got belly to spare.  

It's a big pouch of fat that over hangs my c-scar.  I mean IT HANGS.  I just found out there's a phrase for this phenomenon - "A Mother's Apron".  On that big pouch is my still distended belly button, the dark brown pregnancy line (called linea negra) caused by hormones, a whole bunch of little pink squiggly stretch marks and then a few large dark pink stretch marks on my left side (that was where Mikey spent most of this time).  This pouch of fat/skin hurts when it's touched.  It even feels like it's bruised. 

The c-scar seems deeper looking and indents a little on the right side now.

I feel deformed.  Ahhhh, frig it, I am deformed.

I was wondering if all this was normal and guess what, it is.  

I found this website that allows women to post pics of their postpartum bodies.  Lots of belly overhangs on here.  Phew.  I'm not the only one.

Somehow, some way I'll figure out a time to start working out.  I guess I could be doing that right now instead of whining about my problems here on the blog.  It's just so nice to sit and do NOTHING.

Ahhhhh, nothing.  Sometimes nothing is great.  No nursing, no diaper changing, no making various guys talk, no crying, no diffusing temper tantrums.....You know what?  I should be sleeping.

The only thing I got going for me right now are huge boobs.  The only problem is that they frequently explode because of an excess of milk. Hmph.  Not so attractive.

Sigh.

For now, I'll just have to be happy with my two cute kids, my hunky huzbend, my huge milk-filled boobs and my Size G underwear.

That's G for Ginormous.